English and the impostor syndrome

I have been enjoying a writing guide by Steven Pinker, the best-seller author. Of all the lessons, I was most impressed by the argument that some grammar rules, which I studied to perfect, are overly correct; that a writer ought to strive for clarity even when that means violating some nitpicking rules. This point got me to ponder whether I would.

I started learning English as a second language since I was six-years-old. By now, I really don’t have a problem speaking, listening, writing, or reading. And I sometimes dream in English too.

Despite two decades of education, I still take extra care when I use English. I keep mentally noting my grammatical errors every day and make sure I don’t make the same mistake. I aim to be perfect because I think I am only borrowing someone else’s language. In this state of mind, there is no way I could intentionally break grammar. I now realize the ability to break away from rules is a privilege. Even when no one notices, I do and I will censor myself. This is the classic impostor syndrome.